Friday smile and chill down time, the weekend is here.

Dedicated to those frustrated coaches out there.

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A Division one manager was addressing his team during a training session.

'Now, lads,' he said, 'over the last few months, I've given you a lot of tips and advice on passing, dribbling, kicking and defensive play.'

The team nodded appreciately. 'Well, you can forget it all,' said the coach, 'because we've just sold the bloody lot of you!'

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Striker: "I had an open goal but still I didn't score. I could kick myself."

Manager: "I wouldn't bother. You'd probably miss."

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It was mid-way through the football season and a third division team were doing really badly. The manager decided to get the team together and go back to absolute basics. Picking up a football, he said,

"Right, lads, what I have in my hands is called a football, and the object of the game is..."

"Hang on a minute," came a shout, "you're going too fast."

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Good luck this weekend and don't forget the results via sms and match reports before Monday 1pm.